Josephine’s Miracle Pregnancy & Birth Story
A constant act of Surrender ending in an unplanned unassisted birth.
Josephine Neighbors | Born 5.18.23 | 8lbs 15oz | 21.5” long
Birth Story by Mom: Caitlin Neighbors
We found out I was expecting in September 2022 with our third baby, due May 16, 2023. This news was particularly joyful to share with our big girls. And to get to share the whole journey of pregnancy, childbirth and postpartum with my two little women was really special. At 7 years old I knew Evie would always remember this experience and that was a really big deal to me. After 2 very positive hospital birth experiences I knew I wanted to do it differently. As long as our baby and I remained low risk, home birth was the dream and only option for me. I always knew deep down I would like to experience an unmedicated home birth but was nervous to say it out loud. At the same time I had an overwhelming sense of peace about the decision to switch to midwifery care and a home birth. It was truly a ‘peace that surpasses all understanding’ (Phil 4:7). My husband, Kody, was a wonderful support in this shift of care and birth location while making sure I really and truly wanted to do this. We met with Sarah and Katy at Sage Midwifery for a consult first before scheduling prenatal appointments and I knew right away in that meeting that we were in the right place. It was a beautiful and immediate connection. The connection only grew with each visit. The midwifery level of care, and specifically by these women truly changed my life. I’ve never been cared for so fully, wholly and lovingly by any care provider. I didn’t even know this level of care existed and am forever grateful for what this team provided me and my whole family.
Shortly after I found out I was pregnant I had a dream where God showed me so clearly myself giving birth to a baby girl, and while kneeling, I reached down and grabbed her and pulled her up- catching my own baby unassisted.
This dream from God was a steady reassurance the entire pregnancy up to her birth. I shared this dream with family, friends and my whole care team on many occasions. At my 20 week anatomy scan, the tech found a couple of abnormalities that could be soft markers for either Trisomy 18, Trisomy 21 or nothing at all and resolve on their own in utero. Upon receiving this news I was really upset and didn’t want to tell anyone and just hide until we knew more after doing a genetic test and a follow up ultrasound at 32 weeks. I was an emotional wreck. After lots of conversations and prayer with Kody, I realized that I never want to stand in the way of my children’s ability to be covered in prayer. So I put my own fears of discomfort/exposure aside and told our family and a few close friends. This was the second big act of surrender in this pregnancy- surrender to God’s plan and purpose and allow the ones who love me and our baby to pray and believe for us. They all did- with such willingness and strength of faith. It was a big moment in my life to be vulnerable and realize it’s not about me but so much more. Forever grateful for their prayers and faith. In this time, I remembered that dream. That I wouldn’t be able to catch my own baby at home if she received either of those diagnoses I would not been able to have a home birth I longed for. I chose to believe God’s promise for me in that dream and found Peace. My midwife messaged me late on New Years Eve with the results of the genetic blood test to tell us that there weren’t any markers for 21 or 18! We were so relieved and thankful to receive, and then get to share this with our circle just before the new year rang in. She still needed to done one more scan to be fully in the clear.
When pregnant I tend to get quite grumpy and like to use extremes such as “I’m NEVER doing this again” and am generally quite irritable. After the initial joy and relief surrounding the genetic testing results these negative emotions began to grow again, all the while carrying on as normal again for the next several weeks, believing that our baby girl was healthy and that she and I were progressing well in this pregnancy, with a small lingering fear in the back of my mind about her upcoming scan. While sitting in church at 30 weeks, I felt God tell me “her brain and heart are fine, they’re in MY hands, I’m knitting her together. You need to address your own head and your own heart”… I mean…, such relief and also whoa.. such a needed reality check. Time for another act of surrender… I read God, Where are You by John Bevere, prayed and searched all of myself for what else I needed to clear out before going into birth and a new season of motherhood, wifehood and as Caitlin. I shared all of this with my midwives at each of my prenatal appointments, being heard, validated and encouraged through it all. They held such an intimate, sacred space for me every time. They allowed and supported me in every aspect of who I am in order to be able to fully care for me in the birth and postpartum setting as well. They continued to bless me in the most profound way. The 32 week scan came and showed zero abnormalities, just a healthy, breech baby girl. HA!
But our challenges were not over yet, the enemy kept on trying to mess things up. Around my 34th week of pregnancy we found out that she is breech. I immediately began doing everything possible naturally to encourage her to turn head down. Weekly chiropractor appointments, daily Spinning Babies postures, Moxa stick protocol and an acupuncture appts. All the while I kept remembering His promise and that I reached and grabbed her under her armpits to pull her up. Which can only happen with a head down baby. I went in for my 37 week appt and discussed a plan for a hospital ESV if she hadn’t flipped yet. My midwife got out their portable ultrasound and so sweetly said to me “now that we just discussed all of the next steps, we don’t need them. She’s head down. In the perfect position for birth!” We both teared up. And she said call Kody!! Tell him!!
Now it was time to prepare the birth space. On a Sunday afternoon, our family sat around the dining table and made a big stack of birth affirmation cards. It was important to me to have their handwriting and words on some of them and hung in the birth space as reminders and encouragement for labor and birth. This is one of my favorite things we did together. My Doulas came over at 37 weeks for “birth rehearsal” and practiced lots of different postures and comfort measures with us and we had so much fun with it! I was fully prepped for a birth supported by Kody, my doulas and midwives.
In the middle of the night on 5/16/23 (my due date!) I woke up to some mild contractions. The house was so quiet and still, and I laid in bed excited and relieved that my body does indeed know how to start labor without any interventions. The contractions were very mild and only lasted two hours, but I felt so encouraged. I had never felt contractions before that weren’t prompted by Pitocin. Going into this pregnancy and birth, a main fear of mine was that my body wouldn’t go into labor on its own as I had induced labor with both Evelyn and Sunny’s births. I didn’t allow myself to go into labor, or for my water to break on its own so this, although my 3rd birth- was first time for me to experience any aspect of birth without intervention and fully physiologically.
Contractions lasted 2 hours then stopped. I slept and got up for a normal day and had my 40 week appt at home with my midwife. She was a delight to spend that morning with, encouraging me, and said she would be very surprised if I needed my 41 week appointment. Bedtime rolled around again, and around 3am on 5/17 I woke up and they lasted for 9 hours, and were 10 minutes apart but pretty mild. They never gained in intensity or frequency and were done around 12pm.
I was pretty exhausted this day, since sleep was hit and miss all night so I tried to nap whenever possible. Kody took both girls to work with him that day and I just waited around for them to pick up! I did notice my brain shifting into the liminal state though. I was awake and present but almost in a meditative state. We went to bed like normal and I was woken by them again at 1am on 5/18. They were a bit stronger than the day prior and starting to come closer together, about 7 minutes apart. By 2:45am I woke Kody up and text our doula. She arrived at 3:30 and we got me all set up downstairs in the green room. We did different positions and comfort measures but by 7:30am they had stopped. Again!
All of the rest of that day they would come about 1-2 times per hour and were much stronger but intermittent. Kody took the girls again and I rested as much as possible.
By 7 pm they started in earnest. I didn’t know it at the time but this was when my active labor started! I was alone in the green room downstairs with my Christian Hypnobirthing tracks playing on repeat in my headphones, Riggs laid nearby silently and Kody was making the girls dinner and playing in the backyard with them. I noticed they were much stronger and I could not stay still or silent during the contractions. Kody brought the girls to say good night at 9pm and they went right to sleep. At this point my contractions were very strong, but still irregular in their frequency. They would jump from 10 minutes to 6 to 12 to 8 to 11 to 6. I texted my midwife and let her know that they’re getting really strong, to the point that I almost felt nauseous and that I wanted to get into the birth tub. She encouraged me to get into the warm birthing tub & asked me to have my doula come back to observe and report on my labor stage to them. I realized I just wanted to labor alone and didn’t want any comfort measures or other people in the room but I was totally fine with her coming to observe and take over timing and communicating for me.
My Doula arrived at 9:45 pm, just as I was getting into the tub. My midwife asked that we let them know once my contractions get to three minutes apart since they had not gotten into a closer together rhythm yet. My next contraction was three minutes apart, and suddenly I was in transition. As soon as I got into the tub I could feel Josephine starting to descend. I was starting to feel panicky like it would never end and there would never actually be a baby here! After a few contractions in the tub I felt an urge to push. Already! My midwife was on speaker phone with my Doula listening to me labor and hurrying over as my labor went from active to pushing in a moment. I realize now that I didn’t know it was active labor yet and to call my midwives due to my irregular frequency and a fear that they weren’t “real” contractions yet- fearing that they would stop again and weren’t actually dilating my cervix. I was quite wrong!
I looked at Kody and told him I NEED TO PUSH! He said, then push! Neither Kody nor I felt any fear about the possibility of having an unassisted birth. I knew exactly how the birth would happen and had complete peace in that.
Kody felt God tell him in that moment to pray for me and he held my hand and said a beautiful prayer. The second we said Amen, I felt a contraction start and a big pop. My Doula told me that was my water breaking!
I pushed again.
I reached down to feel the baby’s head, hoping she was starting to crown but felt nothing and exclaimed “there’s nothing there, nothing is even happening!!”
The next contraction her whole head was born. And I said Kody! Look!
Can you see it!!??
The following one her shoulders started to come and then she shot out! It was 10:44 pm when I caught her under her armpits and pulled her up to my chest. In a split second I went from a primal yell to nearly hyperventilating with pure joy laughter pointing with one hand at my baby girl while holding her against my chest with the other. Then, my midwife walked in 1 minute later at 10:45 smiling so lovingly at us. She very gently leaned into me and said “this was supposed to be just for you two and to be between you and God.
Second midwife arrived at 11:07. Both midwives took care of me, I need a few stitches and they did all of the baby’s care. My doula brought me food and took photos of this sacred time.
After the placenta was born and they helped me up and over to the couch to rest, nurse, and just be. Kody went upstairs and got the big sisters. He brought them down one at a time to come meet their new baby sister. They got to help hold her, Kody got to weight her and cut the cord after it had fully drained 1 hour after her birth.
In those magical immediate postpartum couple of hours I laughed with these ladies and Kody about how I had prayed for a swift and peaceful birth. I said how it was certainly swift- not so sure about peaceful. I didn’t know I had it in me to be so loud! My midwife then told me that it was so silent between contractions on the phone that she was afraid the sound of her flashers would distract me. My second midwife told me that I wouldn’t have had the freedoms to go to that primal, natural birthing instinct place without peace in my marriage and home. This opened my eyes to my final moment of surrender for this birth to happen. I was able to fully surrender to God’s design and the natural birthing instincts he knitted into me to take over and birth Josephine. I’m forever grateful for these women for helping me to expand my definition of peace.
Around 1:30 am we did a post birth supported conga line-esque walk up the stairs and they helped me up to bed and got myself and Josephine tucked in. I was able to talk with each of them for a few minutes before they went downstairs to leave. Little did I know that Kody also prayed over them and thanked them on their way out the door. I remember moments after her birth- while still in the pool thinking “oh sh*#, I have to do this one more time?!” But now I see how the labor and birth was such a brief moment in time and without this whole journey- that the Holy Spirit held me so tangibly through, that my care team changed my life forever, and my husband supported and loved me so thoroughly in- I am praying expectantly for the promise of baby Caleb to be brought to fruition and to birth him at home in the next couple of years. And to call my midwives earlier for his birth :)
If you would like to interview Caitlin’s Midwives for your Homebirth, please visit https://www.thesagemidwife.com